Flirting For Dummies
by cherish15
Summary: This is for the third I heart Rogan challenge. Rogue tries to win Logan's heart.


**This is my first attempt at comedy so please give feedback. This is for the third I heart Rogan challenge.**

_Where the hell is she?!_ Rogue thought as she sat on her full sized bed. She'd been doing this for a week now, sending Jubilee to get her all the latest fashion and teen magazines. Rogue was going to use them to get her man, she'd heard many girls at the school say that they use the tips in the magazines all the time to get the boys to like them. So if they could do it Rogue could too.

She had no idea which brand she should get so she just got them all, Logan would notice her, soon. She just knew it.

Jubilee came through the door a few minutes later with a huge bag full of them. Groaning with exasperation she said,

"You have got to start getting these things for yourself chica! I can't even move my arms anymore!"

"You know ah can't do that! What if Logan catches me with them? He'll think ah like some other little messy headed boy and it will ruin any chance ah have!"

"How the hell do you come up with this stuff? What would make you think that, you know what the best thing to do is?" Jubilee said after she finished shaking her head and waited for Rogue to respond.

"No, what!? Do you got some type of advice? Come one spit it out!" she said eagerly.

"Tell him you like him! You're 19 Rogue, one year past adulthood, I know you've fantasized the good and the bad scenarios of this but damn chica stop playing around! You'll only end up making yourself look stupid. Sheesh and they call me the irresponsible one," Jubilee said letting out a long sigh.

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist; this is all ah need….wait where are you goin?" Rogue said panicked as Jubilee made for the door.

"Oh no, I'm not gonna witness you do something crazy chica! No way! Oh don't look at me with those puppy dog eyes….Rogue don't make me, hmmph fine I'll stay," Jubilee said rolling her eyes.

"Yea! Now let's look at this one first, it says Flirting for Dummies, tips that'll get em' interested. Oh this sound promising!"

"Shoot me now," Jubilee groaned.

"It says that if you're sitting in the same room with a guy always make sure you have something to chew or such on, like gum or a lollipop. It really turns them on. Then it says to make sure that if you have the lollipop that you suck slow and sexy and make sure to look at him through slitted eyes and to wiggle your tongue at him, and with the gum chew on only one side of your mouth and roll your eyes while you're doing it," Rogue said excitedly.

"Umm I don't think we should use this one," Jubilee's comment went on deaf ears.

"Oh, now it's talkin about how to make your face look as your talking to him."

"Oh brother"

"Okay I think this could work, it says that if the winds blowing hard outside to find a way to bring the guy out. Have a flirty conversation with him and when he looks up at you every now and then make sure your head is in the direction it blows so that you'll look sexy in slow motion."

"Rogue, please just talk to him," but she was cut off.

"No, I can't! Gotta do it this way, the magazine doesn't lie! And for the finale it says that wearing skanky clothes is the wrong thing to do, you have to get a simple shirt and make sure your tits are up way high and lean forward for the guy to see."

"Seriously Rogue? Are you gonna believe this BS? This is probably a magazine prank!" Again ignoring her Rogue went on,

"So ah think Ah'll wear my purple plaid top with a extra small cami underneath that'll make em' pop out. You see Jubes it has to work! Ah'll make it work!"

Rogue said up the perfect day of flirting, it was the weekend, windy and she was going to be seeing a lot of Logan. Jubilee elected to stay behind. After Rogue dressed and left Jubilee finished going through the crazy magazines and almost chocked on her spit when she saw the note on the back. It read,

"If you're reading this now it means that you've done everything in the flirting article and are now crying because this really is for dummies!"

_Oh shit, Rogue's gonna make herself look like a complete idiot! I gotta find her!_

But it was too late, the plan was already in action. They were all in the common room, Rogue, Logan, Bobby, Kitty, Piotr, Emma, Storm, and a few others. They all looked at Rogue with an odd expression as she sucked on a blue raspberry push pop like she had diarrhea.

Logan almost spit out his drink and bit his tongue to keep from laughing.

_Little Rogue has lot's of learnin to do. I wish she'd just say it but hell I might as well watch the show while it last._

Then seeing that it was having no affect Rogue asked Logan to come outside with her and sit on the bench facing the path that the wind was coming. They didn't talk about anything in particular, but Logan again had to bite his tongue when the wind made Rogue's hair fly into her mouth and she tried to discreetly spit it out.

When she got it all out she tried to squint her eyes again producing the same constipated look as before only adding more of a failed model shoot theme. But what did get Logan riled up was the cleavage she was showing, she bent down a little giving a little more of a show then he'd expected. It was always this way with Rogue, games but never words. And Logan decided he didn't like that, at all.

"Look Rogue I'm not interested in games, go play with someone else," with that Rogue was left alone, stunned. Jubilee had been right, she should've just told him how she felt.

It was like middle school all over again, on pictured day she'd had a good outfit but she _had _so she piled makeup on and ended up putting mascara on her lips, eyeliner on her eyelids, and used the eye shadow as eyeliner. Needless to say she looked like a clown; it was the worse picture she ever took.

Walking defeated into the kitchen, Rogue let fat tears run down her face as she reached for her left over food from Chili's she needed to eat something. Bringing the now hot food to the table she let her tears drop down and most of them landed into the box.

Rogue picked at it a while and decided she didn't want to eat. She also didn't realize that Logan was right behind her.

"Darlin, I never want to make you cry but you can't play games like this, it makes me wonder if you'll be able to handle being with me," Logan said gently. Dropping the spoon on the counter Rogue said,

"Ah just thought that you'd be more attracted to me if ah made myself look sexy, guess ah did a horrible job."

"Rogue I'm plenty attracted to you, just come out and say it."

"Okay, Logan ah really like you, do you wanna try this out? I mean only if…" and she was cut off by his lips. They stayed like that for a long time until they heard a throat clear behind them, not wanting it to end, Rogue brought Logan back to her room.

Soon she had Logan pinned down on the bed,

"I don't know if this bed'll be big enough, damn it I'll just have to tell Chuck to upgrade this to a king," Logan said in between kisses.

Now all Rogue had on were her underwear and bra, but just as soon as Logan reached for to unclasp it he was poked in the back by something.

Slowly he pulled it up, it was a teen magazines that said Flirting for Dummies. Pushing Rogue away as she tried to grab it from him he flipped through the pages and busted out laughing. Finally Rogue snatched from him with a deep blush on her face.

She had the book cover facing her when she saw Logan break out in hysterical laughter, he'd read the small print on the back. With a grin on his face he kissed Rogue full on the lips and grabbed the magazine from her tossing it in the trash. Rogue was blushing furiously but it had calmed down some from before.

Pulling Rogue into his arms again.

"Now where were we _sexy _girl?" and he climbed on top of her.

**Was it good? Review! So that you know my props were**

**Blue raspberry push pop (item closest to me)**

**Wind (first thing I heard)**

**Purple plaid shirt with cami (favorite item)**

**Chili's container (first thing I saw in fridge)**

**And I thought my picture was horrible even though I didn't do the makeup thing.**


End file.
